Tennis Balls

Sometimes I truly wonder how I’ve managed to survive this long on the planet. Somehow if there is a potential to embarrass myself, injure myself or cause some sort of frantic havoc – I succeed.

For instance… drivers training in-class (lets ignore the fact that I’m JUST taking this….) One activity while I’m surrounded by pimply faced teenagers (boys who make honking sounds when they laugh) was to stand in a circle while tossing tennis balls to every second person. (Supposedly to demonstrate distracted driving).
First of all… if you know me – I CANNOT catch a ball if my life depended on it. It’s right up there with my running ability. If I had to run for my life I would most likely die. Same applies to catching things… I don’t like things flying towards my face. Especially when a 15yr old has a jr high crush and begins pelting you with tennis balls repeatedly. What do I do? Fetal position, dive for the ball and skin my knee.

After humiliating myself with the knowledge that I am by far the oldest in the class (that includes the instructor) I somehow manage to make contact with a ball streaming towards my face and SWAT it….sending it flying to a home run… right into my instructors head. Damn it. No where to hide and I cannot control my nervous laughing, in-between my apologizing. So now I can no longer stand because I am laughing so hard I’m crying, and have lost the use of my legs.
Somehow when you are laughing uncontrollably after batting a tennis ball into someone face, the apology comes off slightly insincere.

Aren’t you glad I’m about to driving amongst you?