Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Aprils list of things that grind my gears

  • People that literally run out of their cars to beat you to the line up in Tim Horton’s. Trust me the donuts shall remain, and judging by the fact that I almost got hit in the face by your ass swinging with such vigour, I think perhaps today you could go without. Just saying

  • People that act like zombies in grocery stores. Namely superstore and Costco. Give them a cart and they become infected with some brain eating disease which literally stops all sense of direction or brain function. You better come armed with super fast reflexes and alert eyes to dodge the carts which are bound to have your body tossed over them.
    And again… don’t get between them and the donuts. You might lose an arm. Or your brain.

  • Baby on Board” signs on your car. WHY? Do you think its going to stop cars from
    ramming into your bumper because you have a BABY on board? Come on. “Oh, sorry ma’am I was going to rear end you, but now I see you have a child, guess I’ll find someone else to hit instead”. NO! this does not happen! It also has no bearing on emergency services. The likelihood if you’ve been in an accident that requires a firefighter to extract people from a vehicle, most likely the WINDOW is GONE. Seriously.

  • Those stupid white stick family things on the windows of your mini-van, or escalade depending if you live in Sherwood Park or not. I honestly sincerely do not care how many children you were able to spawn, and what sports they play. The worst is when it’s a couple and a CAT. Good heavens people. It’s a car… not freaking facebook. I can’t even defriend you. Trust me, if I could I would. But for now I’m forced to have my eyes burned out by your stupidity.

  • One more thing… when a guy obviously carrying an oxygen tank takes the last cart please do not glare because you have some stupid rugrats with you. He’s on FREAKING OXGYEN. AKA cannot breathe. Not my fault you’re fertile. Get your own damn cart, you have legs. Or better yet put your little rugrats to use and make THEM get your cart.

    Ok that is all. Its my Monday today. Have a fabulous day. And beware of grocery store zombies. AKA Blue Haired Tuesday.

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