Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Dr. Bruce

The Dr. is not in.

I need a sign. Or a cup for people to drop their spare change these days. I swear I have an invisible sign that reads “if you’re having a bad day, please tell me all about it, I’m listening”.

Truth be told, I like listening to people, and if I can somehow throw a joke in the mix to make them smile even better. In small doses. So I’m not sure if the word has gotten around, or there was some memo sent I never saw, or some strange message to the universe – telling people to find my desk, my phone number or email – and DUMP their problems… but I’m getting suspicious. And I’m not just talking about work… its facebook, and hotmail and messages from people I haven’t talked to in years, and texts and… ugggggh.

But there are people I don’t even know, from who knows where - find my desk, complain. And leave. Everything from their dog, martial problems, drama from high school, bad lunch, headaches, the bird that kept them up all night, bad hair day, weight gain, job problems, allergies, dr. appointments, the fact that I ran out of candy to feed them, or my flowers died. Somehow they feel better once complaining to me, and move onto whatever their day entails. I’m not even sure if they know my name.

So I bought a fish. His name is Bruce, in honour of Bruce the Shark from Finding Nemo “Fish are friends not food”. Although some apparent confusion has been born by the “Bruce” label below his fish bowl, it usually stops people mid-rant to see why on earth I would have named a plant Bruce. It’s a fish. Which adds to my frustration.

Mostly he has won the hearts of the floor with his sparkling blue personality, and oversized nose - usually greeting newcomers by puffing himself up and swimming spastically around the roots of his home. Perhaps he is having a seizure, or he just really is that happy.
Regardless, Bruce is a happy distraction, swimming carefree around his plant without a care in the world. Until the fire alarm goes off.


Katie said...

I love you.

That is all.

No its not.. Ness, I've been having all these problems lately and I smell kinda funny and my hair is doing this funny "woo-hoo" thing....... and my toe is itchy and my eyes hurt. And my phone sends multiple text messages and my shoes smell but not the usual show smell but a smellier smell, want to smell them and tell me what the smell is?


Love you!

ps. your blog is effing hilarious and it cracks me up every time I read it.. minus the serious entries, but even then there is usually a part that makes me smile!

Anonymous said...

Great post Ness

-Nessa said...

Hahaha oh Katie... you make me laugh.
Thanks for reading ladies <3