Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Killing Honor

I have a few things on my mind for those I may offend or confuse; I apologize in advance. But I truly believe these things need to be said.

As is brought to mind of recent events of the Shafia family honour killings which are all over the news – there is so much oppression in seemingly “less dangerous” forms throughout all religious institutions.

Why is it that women are constantly called into question, condemned and made to feel solely responsible for every mishap, act of violence or sexual exploitation?

I know some great people, who are heavily involved in Church, or Christianity and such – but lately I have come across some upsetting trends growing in the Christian world.

Firstly, that it is the fault of “wild women” to cause the pure Christian boys to have impure thoughts, actions and even abuse. Better watch those hemlines ladies… ankles can be a real stumbling block. I’m sorry but ever heard of self control guys?

I hate to call out specific things, as I truly don’t wish to offend those who I think intentions are honourable. But as the saying goes… “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”

I watched a video, which many guys who I have grown up with were featured… talking about how horribly manipulative women were by wearing tight clothes, or making guys feel bad or responsible in an argument. And I actually laughed out loud. First of all… I’ve knows most of them since Jr. High school, and if it had legs… they chased it. So sorry boys, not buying it. Although your moms think you are the spotless lamb, placing blame on the women in your life will only amount to one thing – a single guy who’s mammas boy to the end.

Everyone wants a scapegoat, and in the “Christian” fella’s case, seems to be those short skirted, high heeled women who are causing them to lose sight that they are not in fact animals, and have a choice of the life they will live.

Reminds me of the beginning of creation, Eve was sent to be a helper to Adam, and Adam to be a protector of the woman. So she gets totally lured in, Adam is off golfing with the giraffes and when he returns she offers him some fruit too. Turns out to be a bad choice… and what does Adam do? THE WOMAN MADE ME DO IT. Come on buddy… you opened your own mouth; pretty sure there was no force involved.

Eve should have been responsible. Adam should have been responsible. And actually… that’s what happened. But in this world… the guys. No responsibility. The women? All the blame.

How many times have we heard about rape, sexual assault or some other horrendous event; where media or some obnoxious idiot states. “Oh she was probably dressed inappropriately, therefore she was asking for it.” Or “she was too drunk”.

Thankfully there are organizations which are seeking to abolish such thinking, lies and blame towards the victims of crime and seeking to punish those who are truly at fault.

Where is the line? Does it stop at teaching your young men that they are not responsible for their actions? Or does it continue and grow in resentment and anger, which builds into situations like the honour killings. If the women are to blame by wearing too much makeup, being too outspoken, wearing short skirts or tighter clothing… then where does the line of anger end?

I’m not saying it’s good to go out dressed in your underwear, but I am saying, that if some person does, for whatever reason beyond my understanding… they should be safe from being attacked. There are people who genuinely don’t have class or don’t care how they leave the house. And that is up to them. If you need proof check out people of walmart.

It’s easy to place blame where we don’t want to take responsibility. In fact, it’s a lesson most of us should have learned in elementary … learn to say “sorry” and don’t blame someone else for what you have done.

I hate that men are being made into these weak little boys who have no control over their actions… that they are ruled by a women. Come on… the men I know have a lot more to them than that. And the last thing they usually want… is to be told what to do.

The MEN I know, are strong. They are honest. They respect the women in their lives. They don’t whine and complain about how hard it is to be a good man *sob*. They just are good men. By actions, by thoughts… by everyone that knows them. No ones perfect, people mess up… but if you do; you messed up. No one else.

I have heard so many of my girlfriends cry because a guy placed blame upon her for her actions. From things so ridiculous that the guy couldn’t handle holding hands because it gave him impure thoughts (dude… go see a psychiatrist something is wrong…) She would feel wrong and dirty to kiss, or wear a dress, or wear makeup… because it was HER obvious fault to make him attracted to her. I really believe that this is abusive.

How horrible is it to be so mentally and emotionally abusive to someone…in the name of “religion” in order to cover your own obvious very serious issues. Or someone who was assaulted, told “well, its your fault for not dating a Christian” what about the Christian guy who did the same?

God made women to be beautiful and appealing to men. Its how things work. Wasn’t meant to be dirty or misused or abused. But our world is screwed up. However, we don’t serve a God of condemnation. I know a God who is just, and loving.

All I’m saying… everyone is responsible for their own actions. Own them. Girls stop blaming guys for low self esteem, and good heavens men… stop blaming women for all your mistakes.


Destinyz Rose said...

"God made women to be beautiful and appealing to men. Its how things work. Wasn’t meant to be dirty or misused or abused." Well said, Ness! xx

Katie said...

Just another reason why I love you Ness.
F*cking brilliant.