Friday, February 25, 2011

Wardrobe Malfunctions


I’m having an extremely difficult time concentrating this morning.
It’s FRIDAY!
A SHORT week – filled with totally craziness and awesomeness I can hardly stand it.
I’m quietly rocking out to some Bruno Mars, which initially was Train with “Hey Soul Sister” which for reason just makes me want to dance. So brief warning to those who come into my office and see me jiving with the beats in my chair, looking ever so professional. Don’t judge. I’m happy. It’s Friday. And I get to wear my mukluks and jeans to work today. It’s a GOOD day indeed.

Also… its bloody cold outside. I’m actually a little envious of the Buffalo they sent to Siberia. I’m pretty sure it’s probably warmer there. They might get to bust out the shorts and sandals, or at least have a hair cut. I sorta have a thing for Buffalo. Not the brand. Yes. Those very hairy, fluffy massive creatures with the eyes on the sides of their heads. So cute. So yes, its freezing outside! But, at least there is blue skies and its sunny. Can’t complain too much. Except about the Buffalos they sent away. I’m complaining about that. Also… what is the plural of Buffalo? Is it just Buffalo? Or Buffalos? Or is that like saying Mooses? I’m not sure.

I had a crazy opportunity to speak to 200 (!) jr. high girls this week through the YWCA in Edmonton. It was an amazing experience. Very eye opening and at times sobering. It felt so weird to be back in that sort of position after so long, but I think I realize that I really have a passion to encourage girls. What a tough age. As I looked around the room, the memories of Jr.High were very clear. What I realized is that, even though we get older, the insecurities remain no matter what age we are. I was so nervous of what they would think of me, or how they would view me; whether I was relevant to them. But our fears, struggles and insecurities do not vanish with age, sure they evolve differently, but essentially we are the same scared 14 year old when we are 24.
I told some funny stories. I talked about my project Arms of Compassion. I laughed at my fuzzy big hair, and the “Backwards Pants” story. Which trust me is a real gem. So awkward. My High school and Jr. High days were totally filled with awkward, embarrassing moments and some of you are thinking “just high school? What about now??” Yes Kathleen, I do remember walking into a post and apologizing to it … in College. But hey it produced an awesome friendship!

One of the best stories I can think of. That is one the by far most embarrassing stories for me EVER took place last year. I used to work this government job where at times I fully required to be wearing tights or nylons or whatever… with a skirt. And if you know me, you know how much I despise these things. SO, I decided to cut corners, wear the thigh highs which look professional without all the choking that happens with nylons and go up to your ribcage and almost puts you into cardiac arrest because its squeezing all the blood from your lower body into your chest cavity.
However… the sticky rubber at the top, which is intended to keep them up – doesn’t do well at -30. Apparently it just stops working entirely. And if you are already cold… you don’t notice initially if they perhaps fall down around your ankles while you are walking to and getting on the public bus. So I’m sure you are piecing the story together. I’m walking. It’s cold. I look down, and yes to my complete HORROR only ONE stocking has fallen down – get this… overtop of my boot. Of course it couldn’t just fall neatly into my boot, nope overtop.
I try to sneakily pull it up, which is completely impossible. People are now staring, not sure if it’s amusement at my demise or complete horror. I give up and just take my seat on the bus and pretend it never happened. The lady across from me has eyes the size melons/a look that resembles something like my aunts face when my skirt fell down at my Great Grandma’s funeral. I give her a confident smile, as if to say “its cool and I’m not the least embarrassed.” As I want to crawl into a hole and die.
Needless to say… cold days, stockings and really anything that has rubber with the intention of working – will not work. Learn from my personal humiliation. Also… never wear a skirt to an important family function that is just slightly too big in the waist. There are few things more embarrassing than wardrobe malfunctions.

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

haha oh the post story...love it!!! and yes, it did produce a beautiful friendship! i miss you my love!!!